everyday with Joleen

yes My car broke down yesterday, sorry still no bday post coz still waiting for photos hoho

When I on the way driving to office, suddenly i notice my car temperature went to the highest level. I’m like kinda shock and start hearing some weird sound from my car engine.

So I stop at petrol station and had my breakfast for 30 min, I bought engine oil and ask the ppl there to refill for me. They said my car is ok but I doubted so..

So I decided to go to the mechanic shop in subang, John’s family mechanic. But when yet to reach the persiaran kewajipan … I saw white smoke coming out from the engine n also inside the car -.-….

I stop the car behind those car jus kena accident and pretend to be one of them XD at least i got teman la.. is on highway man scary to be alone….

haha, well look like kena accident rite..well.. John come to rescue me haha so thankful of him..  he can’t get the mechanic coz he donno the mechanic already change phone number.

I too sien.. I know I can go n know them n talk to them but I just not in the mood..

At last the mechanic reach at about 12pm….

Then I follow John to his office.

I am super sleepy, drank coffee. heart beat fast. n camwhore..lol..

all in all I really thankful for those who help.. LIke JOhn who helps to pays my bill. and My SII manager (Richard) who willing to lend me money, I refuse it coz I know everyone of us in SII needs money.

And also Uncle Andy who really look up to me so much who offers me big jobs in future.

well I was in deep thought yesterday, I know I got to make decision fast and precisely at this point of time.

I was blaming myself for this car broke down. I know many ppl won’t says that this is my fault to cause the car into this situation coz I am a girl. well I did service for once every 3 months except this time. But u know what, I blame myself.. haha coz I know I can avoid this to happen if I would just be careful and check on the car regulary. I know what am I capable of and I have cause people into trouble like JOhn. I felt so bad and so sorry for him to pay for my bills, and also my mom who helps me along the way.

I am 25 and my mom still helps me to pay the bill, I know my dad would be so called dissapointed with me for this time well.. I do hope he do not know I get into trouble but it seems he knows it. well..

I was stress, dissapointed at myself and upset yesterday. And finally this incident hit me…

Suddenly I realise that I really got to move on from what I am now, I realise God had given me ability and talent is not for no reason (sorry I am not boasting of myself).. I know He give so much in me that yet to discover. I know I need to work hard for it, I suddenly realize tat I need to do something about it, I thinks I need to work hard to take care of myself, for my love ones.

I know if it’s necessary, I will not stay in graphic design field only.

I needs to move on, I know God create me as a girl who doesn really have girl’s certain interest are for a purpose.

I have to make a decision

I don’t want family to worried about my life and cause them into trouble again.

It will be a new begining (just like what Siew Lin told me)

1. Suddenly, I start finding job again =) I think it will be a good closer for me in SII for 2 years ++. I’m glad this time everyone encourage me to find job hahaha.

2. I get to know wonderful friends from SII.

Siew Boon – I am truly grateful coz of her, the first few months i almost want to give up working in SII coz of conflict & gossips. She is the one who believe in me. =) and her great serving spirit and simple hearted always warm my heart, I truly learn a lot from her.

See Mei – also a good friend with great fashion sense.. I learn a lot of branding from her hehehe.. and she is very giving and a friendly friend all the time.

Eunice – very inspiring friend  in dicipline, finance, cleanliness, and dedication on work. Everytime comes to counting, we will not hesitate to throw job to her hoho.

Min Hui – Someone who has similiar personality or hobby with john. Likes to collect merchandise from starbucks. she say she got like 50+ collection from starbucks -.-

etc etc, I can’t finish thanking each one of them who play a part in cherishing my working life in SII =) coz later bored you

3. Recently we just like gain favor from the indian restaurant at Bustop terminal. the boss know we want little portion of rice and we likes Sotong goreng. lol. previously we hardly get sotong goreng, now we see the sotong goreng more often lol

4. One day when I at puchong, waiting at downstair of John’s office. I overheard a conversation.. (i not curi curi dengar but he talk too loud over phone).He is apparently having some cybernet love affair.

“我是泰国华侨，我妈妈是泰国人。很小我就离家出走靠自己咯，。。。(talk talk talk). 为什么你会被老师骂?没有做功课? (talktalktalk) 你因该皮肤很白咯, 照片看起来很白咯. (talktalktalk) 好啦不讲啦,我的电话要没有钱了. 还没有reload . 去做工先.”

then he walk into the cybercafe… WUAHAHAH.. I actually forget lots of the conversation.. but its actually very funny one.. that guy actually look quite young, fat and… (imagine he use very gerli tone talk to the gal.. flirting tone @.@)

5. shock – khai ling want to close her blog T.T

6. waiting – 2 months to go to move on to another church. Everything will be a brand new start for me again….

7. enjoy my 2 months here in my church – I hope what had I done so far brings some meaning to people. Well if I fail to do so also. At least I know I am doing all these for God alone, I am glad to grow up in this church. I found my life here.. and found my purpose here which is cannot be traded else where

8. 2 new housemates going to stay with us. I shift back to the master bedroo. NICE cooling room haha.

9. felt abit rejected for 2 things

- few months ago I was invited to a dinner for 1 week later… N i am ever ready to go for it and very excited for it. I even put into my calendar. I am even try to make my time to go there. But just coz of one person sentence say – owh this is I no need to go coz I am not part of them.. My heart sink… I don feel appreciated at that moment.

- I was invited to a dinner as well.. I am so touched coz I rarely see them.. but coz of somebody say I am not necessary to go for the dinner. – My heart sink too – I too don feel appreciated at that moment lol..

however thank God once I wake up from sleep. I feel good again =).

10. overheard that WE not getting salary this week T.T

11. Happy birthday to my sister!!!

12. waiting for my birthday TOO !!  I do loves those who celebrate with me really make efforts. Or not I rather you don celebrate with me if you just do it out of duty =)  (melancholy moment)

Of course there are very nice one also .. like my colleague making every effort to surprise me on my bday even though fail XD

also I remember those individual who purposely bring me out and treat me nice meal for my bday

also last year surprise bday celebration. also failed (coz ricky really not good in cheating).

anyway i love celebrating with John alone on my bday

I am in love with ugly betty. I mean this character.. lol.

She works in fashion magazine even though ppl criticize her do not have taste and carry a big size body..

However, she had few bf b4 MUAHAHAHA.. they likes her simply coz she is hardworking, good hearted and have self confident and of course very capable.

She always wants to be an editor even though she is an assistant to the editor in chief (Daniel) for quite few years. ALthough there are lots of challenges yet she still make it at the end of the season 3..

wow..

I am asking myself whether I am able to do this? Well, not saying that I wanted to acchieve something great in my career but looking at me that is so lazy currently.. I am just wondering what will I acchieve in 5 years time? lol

I been patiently waiting for the answer from God for this whole year. BUt it seems that He is been so quiet in this area, my career. All I hear is , wait n wait and nahhh.. All I hear is what will  be my future Ministry… But but, what is my career? lolx..

A little confuse here. But yes, I know God is here. Maybe 1 day, I will someone like ugly betty.. mUAHHAHAA.. I mean.. her good character & ability. =)

Looking through 2009, this is definately a tough year for me.

“Tough” this word for me is means that, I am facing something that is unfamiliar and I am in the process of learning to handle it. When things are familiar, tough situation no longer will be tough coz emotionally I can at least handle it.

Things started “tough” for me in the early months of 2009, I am facing financial difficulties as most of the people know. It  was tough for me coz i am worried that I coudn’t work out in saving for next year plan.

Things also tough when I had lost  my grandma

Things are really tough when I am speechless looking through my family & relatives. Every family has their own untold and different story. ppl say 家家有本难念的经. But surely my family is the very very very unique one, things seems to be familiar but yet unfamiliar happen once n once again that i really do not know how to handle. So.. I call it “tough”.

Once n sometimes I will questions that am I an accident? I hate that I am thinking like that coz I know I am not, but my feelings can’t help to sink in this disappointment. Why me?

Yesterday my shepherd ask me, “do you upset of the whole thing or not?” I thought I am not.. But after i think n think. I answer her “yes”. I do not want to hide my emotion any longer that I want to face it, let God deal with it. And yes, I really just some other normal human being with fleshly emotion.

I really thank God on how He brought me through all these years, I really think that God is a very kind, patience, humble God who allow ppl making lots of mistakes to disappoint Him including me.

I thank Him on letting me realize, He will take care of my life. Therefore I no longer worried much on how am I going to save money.

I thank  Him on picking me up on the dirt. If I do not know Christ 9 years ago, I think today I can’t handle things that happen in my family.

I am really thank God as a very humble God, keeping me safe from things that able to destruct me when I am a new born believers. You know I can handle it better by now.

N i know, 2009 will end well.