thanks for Your & your comfort
thanks for not judging me
thanks for listening to me
thanks for sacrifices for me
thanks for your shoulder
thanks for seeing me as a different and unique person
thanks for your acceptance
thanks for your time
Its not easy but I know Im not alone =) You know i really thought that I am alone
I really surprise of how many of you that care for me =)
thankssssss XOXOXOXO
ok recently is very blur la.. such as….
1. i knock my head in office kitchen.. IS VERY LOUD THAT KIND.. eh that place.. is very easy kena knock head one la so forgivable
2. shoe ter drop somewhere ah yea few times d
3. almost fall down coz colleague is blocking my way.
4. ok this is embarassing. I think i am not enough sleep then i went to this shogun with John family..
i actually hor wan to follow John all the way where he go coz rite i donno much about japanese buffet or food. then one time i jus brave brave go alone. I saw this tempura section. OK I usually know wat is this. But that time, again i not enough sleep.. i look at the person who making tempura i tot,, this tempura serve like the tepanyaki.. -.-” i took alot tempura… then i put on the table n wait for him to cook or make something wth it.. OF COURSE HE WILL NOT do anything for me -.-” that is tempura……
then i waited there.. he ask me.. “miss, what can i help you?”
“er……..”
“you wan to put tempura sauce isit?”
“er…. “
pause for few minutes.. i still dono what am i doing there… finally a waiter beh tahan come n serve me..
“miss what can i help you?”
“erh.. what can i do with this food?”"”"”" what the i still so blur..
“er.. miss (i think he sweat).. these food are 100% cook already.. you can just take it n eat straight like this”
“OOO… okok.. i tot want to cook again something like that -.-”"
“er.. miss you can take the tempura sauce. to mix with your food “
(#$Q#(%#$)++++W#$.. ok i am so blurrrr.r… THANK GOD only me there without other customer
5. I was not enough sleep for like 2 weeks..
SO i decided to take leave on Yesterday..Somemore saturday night i only sleep like 3 hours. (if let say really want to go work).. so really wan to sleep until 12pm la that day..
so what happen is… Monday morning 7am.. i wanted to inform my colleague that im not goign to work
i sent this msg
“sorry, I think i want to take leave la today, too sleepy.”
GUESS WHAT .. so brillian me i forwarded this msg to my team lead =.=”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”
i can’t forgive myself. hahaha actually she replied me. But i donno what’s the content.. coz i deleted .. scare she scold me..
N i pretend nothing happen today lol.
and ah.. donno she will read my blog or not 
Yesterday, i was back to setapak. Got a sister in need of help , need someone to talk to.. she currently not going to church anymore. I nv bring any expectation. I guess people like her jus need someone to talk to her and listen to her.
well she likes to talk, so i din talk much. i jus ask questions and let her talk. I found out that she has her own answer for the problem. N she is longing for God touch, just that she was having problem relating with people around her. Well, I am glad that i was there. Even though she takes time. I feel joy coz I felt like im serving the Lord.
Then my uncle he is in great need la, i was glad that i am able to borrow him car. Even though i am not comfortable without car. But today when i hand over my car to him and have dinner with his family. I think I have make this as a serving to the Lord.
guess i am smiling in my heart.
I think this is the real Joleen. I love to help, i use to love to help my classmates when they are ineed which i din get the same feel so long time until now.
I guess this is the real me =)
Im keep thinking recently. One of the most thing i think is this scenery that touch me alot.
I remember few months ago, there is a girl from my church are attacked by serious asma and fainted. Then she comma for few days. We were praying for her …
Then she was get into operation… after that she wake up and slowly recovered.
the first time she came to church after she discharge from hospital. I couldn’t recognise her.
She was pretty and skinny, smart and good in acting. She can straight cry infront of you when she is on stage, she can just act so narutally. She has 1 sister and 1 brother. she is the oldest. Not forgeting she has a boy friend in church =)
well after this incident, she change alot on her outlook. She get fat alot, her fashion are change. hair are different. So i coudln’t recognise her. Then… when the first time i talk to her, she couldn’t give me any respond. I was so worried. LOL.. I guess she is slowly adapting back to people.
She is appearing quietly in church, even though she still need to adapt the environment. I do not know how her family can accept this but i really salute them. Coz they are still faithfully attending church and serve God.
One time, after a combine service. I saw her boy friend tenderly hold her hand walking here n there in church. I guess it was too much people thats why hold her hand. I was touch.. really touch. THat is a hand ineed when you are really in trouble.
A help ineed that when you are alone.
=)
and i see improvement when i start seeing her lift her hand and pray for people in prayer meeting.
Hope that she get well 100% soon =)
recently i have a bit different life style. lol..
1. public transport
well last time I donno what is T429, U42, 68, 1, 2 and etc.. well these are buses name… lol.. I have long time nv take bus and LRT already. Last time my cheapest ride for bus is about 40 cent (student price, thats why the bus chap lap d gua too cheap haha). LRT pass rm 70 per month (unlimited ride for you).. so i really untung alot lo.. I remember last time i love to take LRT. with the lrt pass. one day i can go to KLCC few times haha. or go petaling street without worrying spending too much.
the availability transport in cyberjaya is not as flexible than KL. at first i really not use to it but somehow I am getting use to it and really thank God for free shuttle bus in cyberjaya and free shuttle van from my company to ERL. after I am driving, i cannot imagine how to survive in cyberjaya without car. Frankly it is not easy, imagine last time i can wake up 15 min earlier and without 5 min can reach company. Then now got to wake up much earlier.. lol.. well is ok la..
the hardest could be going back home setapak and klang. until now still no solution how to go back klang with public transport.. but i can back to setapak. Just that ma fan abit la. N i figure out public transport to go back both place actually more expensive that driving. SERIOUS haha.. coz of that ERL. I can take bus back.. but to take bus returning home is harder la.. so i took ERL to avoid being late to work. so on n so forth….
some significant incidents
I remember one day 3.45pm i finish work. I waited at my company bus stop to take bus, (n i not aware that my company van has shuttle at 4.15pm). the bus has nv arrive .. i waited until 5.15pm… =.=”"” wuahahhahahaha.. i just can say i am really funny for that. in the misdt waiting i makes frens.. those are cleaners from EDS n from my building. they finish works kinda early. waiting for company van to fetch them back. after waited like hour, i went to company shuttle…. then those colleagues are surprise that i still there =.=”"”" i hope that got lubang that time. they laugh at me la .. even tell the van uncle T.T want to cry d hahahaha
2. office
hei got new working hours. I have more flexible hours. i can come very very early n go back early too.. as long as one week complete 42.5 hours with certain condition. so thats why you see i can go back at 3.45pm. so i have more time to go to church by bus even if have practises.
3. food
since April, i was shock to see i was bleeding when pass motion (izit correct?). I was shocked till tot i having what serious illness XD. Then i started to realize it must be ulcer, my dad had it too since his early 20s and went for operation 3 times. =.=”"” he said if see bleeding is kinda serious d must go thru operation… so i just keep quiet XD. Most recent one he spend 5k on operation. za dao,.. so expensive. n i scare pain neh.. so din see doc…
Wat i do is i reduce spicy food & meat. so for this few months .. week days i usually become vegetarien in the afternoon and night eat some meat. Its seems a kind of fasting already rite .. haha coz how can I survive without spicy?? >.<”"”"” God know how much i miss assam laksa, tom yam etc etc T.T N eating vege also very hard la for me hhahaha but now ok d..
now no pain d.. last time hor very very painful la.. feel like burning somemore hahaha.. now ok d la no pain.. No more bleeding too if i take care of my diet… but if once i eat abit of spicy food or oily food. it will come again.. wow.. long way to go.. lol..so ah if go to mamak that beside churchs ah.. i really donno wat to eat one.. apa pun seems like cannot eat… goreng one oily, nasi one spicy.. lol.. so just eat only la.. chinese stall near church one expensive.. then sometimes horr cannot tahan eat spicy HAHAHHAA.. how can healed la.. lol.
got one gal teach me.. she eat 2 weeks oat n plain fruits to get rid of the ulcer. i was like @.@”"”"”" cannottttt…. hahahaha…
thats why la now thinner abit .. yea bit only.. haha..
4. finance
Yup finance again.. you might think i realy long winded always talk same topic. haha but true i keep thinking .. how come i always faithfully give thithes still like struggling in finance.. sometimes i wish to give more to ppl.. but i can’t act so generous like other ppl (EXAMPLE THAT STEWARD)…
so what are the changes in this few months? I have start to discover different way of managing finance. I start to use excel template that found online to do every month budgeting. Then i slowly do everyday budgeting.. Yes everyday. maybe you thought i siao o how to budget for everyday spending.. yes i force myself to do it… But i just started this month la. so will see is it good or not.. so far so good lo.. 
I guess i have learn great lesson from past one year, and out of struggle ness now i see myself have change to learn something new =)
5. sport
before that i really scare of sport. I am lazy and i am really scare people laugh at me that i do not know anything about sport. SOmeppl ajak me to go bowling, i really scare la ppl laugh so i just reject. Then comes my group ppl wan to play badminton. I AM REALLY scare at first.. haha.. DON SAY CAPTAIN BALL is just like my nightmare.. coz ppl throw ball just right on my eyes that cause me to cry -.-”"
But anyhow.. haha surprisingly i enjoy playing badminton…
6. dogs
i too very scare of dogs. regardless baby or big size one. When my dad rare a dog i was like thinking my nightmare come d. But surprisingly the toy dog is really cute.. haha its not as scary as what i thought last time.. Now my good fren la.. i miss him sometimes =) But i still very very scare of big dogs -.-”"
O why i read this book? haha just some reason that i ask from helen.
well even though inside has alot of things that i already know. But i think i still learn things from it..
there are a sections talks about the differences between relationship that build on infatuation & real love:
1. How does it affect your personality?
infatuation = you live day dream + disorganize your personality.
real love = If your love is real, the one you love will bring out your best qualities and make you b better person.
i think this is real enough, the first few years i know him (rhm u know who haha). I been really selfish to get what i want out of our friendship, not even courtship. I have grumble all days about my disastifaction, get angry with him out of no where. I think i been so selfish and hurt him deep enough. O well, I did went through the infatuation before turn into genuine love. I really thank God for the “waiting period” 
Now for sure i know i have gone better in qualities coz of his encouragement, support and correction sometimes, i mean other than God.
this is from another chappter.
2. become the “right” person
A lot of times hearing people looking or praying for the right person, sometimes we just ignore or don’t want to admit that we need to become the right person so that your right person able to find u hahaha.
i like this very much where
to live happily as a single person
Marriage or pakto not the answer for loneliness. When we or me in a relationship, we or me still feels loneliness. Just as when I having depression, going out for john can’t solve the problem all the time coz it might be just drag him down for seeing me so depress or angry. N he turn out to be no mood like me XD. Or sometimes he busy his works or ministry, he couldn’t know whats happening to me here. So i still needs to be a single person to live for my own. Just like sometimes he needs to be quiet without anyone else including me, meaning that I can’t be the sourse or answer to his needs n problem.
this is from the book
If you don’t learn to live as a single person, you won’t be happy after you get married.
millions pf people r married still lonely n unsatisfied. They sought love & fulfillment from another person and were dissapointed. The secret rili is this, understand God’s love and HIs love can satisfy you 
If God sees that you need a mate, He will provide the right one at the right time.
If you are in doubt, Don’t….
if you have slightest doubt about relationship, is better go slow or even back way to it. Take your time..
I think i have no doubt on relatioship, But i am a person who really serious in how i spend my life time. I am seriously serious about which church i should spend my life, not coz i favour any church. Some ask me why should i go so far to serdang, should stay in klang n go to any church in klang . No, i value church as my life… or why i not following JOhn to his church for now, since i am his gf .. o well, I am not against any church, or i so degil in any way.. haha I think timing is really important coz I still feel that its not the right timing as yet.
I have not feel that is the right timing yet coz I have doubt on myself or i can say not enough confident, i do not know am i able to be the right person for him for his life time. That is coz i am from a broken family, i know how deep hurt is.. how the Relationship ruin the family for years or ruin a person life. So, if you ask me, I really need ALOT of time… to prepare my heart n pray. I am that SERIOUS lol.
Take my time….
yep. Thats what i feel..
O, before i forget. One thing cool about this book is hahaha teach you how to court a gal/ guy (its a small session in this book)
well its cheap, RM12.90 you can get this book lol….
Ow goodness!! i found this precious clip. well this is where I on stage … MUAHAHAH u can try to find where am i.. IM singing suprano. Nv tot can found this on UNITEN blog http://unitencg.blogspot.com/
thanks! i like this very much!
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